All posts by sheisinme2009

She is in me refers to my daughter who fills my soul. I love my daughter so very much, she is what wakes me each morning to fight another day. It has been put on my heart to share my story- in the hopes that someone going through anything similar to the many things I have been through can know, they are not alone. Good people do make bad choices but please don't let them define you. Time truly does change everything... and often.


After three blog posts I feel it is important to clarify that this is being done for ME. This is something God has put on MY heart. For years I have struggled with where to start. I didn’t want to use anyone’s name and them be upset at me. I always thought the way my penmanship changed was important, but how do I share it where people can see it? I realize, more than ever, that I will receive judgement, criticism, and/or rejection as this continues. What I am trying very hard to do is keep the focus on what I have went through. Not who or what someone else did. I know people that have been through way more than I can imagine- but I have been through allot too.

If sharing this helps even one person to not give up- to God be the glory.

Tuesday, 12/14/99

Notice the constant change in penmanship- ALL CAPS in this entry. No social media at this time. No texting. Typing or texting ALL CAPS is known as yelling in todays world.. I was yelling.. and didn’t even realize it…

As my own luck would have it, I’ve lost my job. Mon-Fri 8-5. It really wasn’t to bad. Why does it hafe-to be this way. If I want something or like something. It falls apart. I won’t let that happen w/ me -n- Dave. Have a Merry X-mas, How could they even say it. I just hope the New Year will bring forth peace, and happiness. I shall not get down on myself, emotions are the hardest to control. Sometimes I wish there was a switch to help me out.

Again Dec. 14th

It’s amazing how one altercation can change your course of direction. Before I know it my life is about to change again into another direction. Change could possibly be for the better by many means. People lose jobs everyday. It doesn’t mean that its the end of the day. Just a day period. God will take care of me!! A Dave will keep me strong.

New Yers. Resolution. $ Manage Money $

December 1999

Dec. 12th & Dec 13th 1999

A nephew is the coolest thing!! Makes you feel important in someones life. The relationship that I have with my aunt is really close. I hope that mine with Thomas J Buckner (T.J.) is just as wonderful.

Christmas time is here.


Januaray 2nd 2020

If bad grammar and incorrect punctuation bother you, better tighten your seat belt or better yet- get off the short bus . Now. πŸ™‚

I was soooo excited about becoming an aunt! Aunts are the people you tell things you can’t tell your parents and do all the fun stuff with. They are basically like grandparents only younger.

My nephew is 21 now. Do I know him? No, not really. I don’t know his favorite color or music. How high school was for him. What he wants to do with his life. What his fears are. I have seen him probably 20 times or less his entire life. What I DO know is what I have seen on social media and what I have gathered from the conversations we have had together. I love him and he loves me- that I know.

21 years passed since I made the first journal entry that will start this blog and it just goes to show you, things do not go the way you think they are supposed to go in life.

End of a decade.

In 9 hours we will all be saying goodbye to 2019 and hello to a brand spanking new decade! Are you excited? I am! It’s not just a new year people. It’s a new decade! I am starting this new adventure with eyes wide open. All in and ready to go!

Upon the horizon I hear wedding bells, I see a beautiful wedding and an amazing honey moon with the man I fell in love with 20 years ago, a baby crying, fighting with my pre-teen about her clothes and for gosh sakes TAKE A BATH, co-parenting with my ex, panic attacks, tears of- why am I crying again?, questioning the 18 year old living in my house, why did I agree to another dog, and work? Oh don’t get me started! I love my job but this is not the place for that. Oh the happy times that await us..

I digress- If you are going to read my blogs I am giving you advanced notice. Pay attention. I will start something mid sentence and expect you to know what I am talking about and change directions in the blink of an eye. My bad.

My next post will start at the beginning. Well, the beginning of my journal entries.

December 12th 1999.