Starting again..

Here we go again, I think to myself. Yet this time feels more authentic, more real, more spiritual. Maybe age has given me the feeling that this time its going to be different. This time I am older and have the ability to really stay the course and not get weary or exhausted at trying to do what is right. What the Lord is calling for me to do.. Today is a new day. I have never fasted before. I’ve heard it preached many times and felt led, but never followed through. Today starts 40 days of fasting from social media. No facebook, snapchat, or twitter. Only my bible app to open on my phone. No public announcement or way to share my blog posts. Just me letting the Lord guide my steps and direct me in the way He wants me to go. This blog post is part of those steps. I believe now that we (or maybe just me lol) do get exhausted and weary because the good work is not what we truly WANT to do. It’s to hard. It’s much easier to give in to this world and our selfish desires, forgetting that God has something much bigger and better planed for us.

The last 5 years have been long and filled with much. To keep looking back is to not move forward, right?. How do you not look back though? I have heard so many times “Kat, you have been through so much” Yes. Yes I have. So have so many others. As I listened to the ladies pray this morning, many for their children, spouses, brothers, and sisters. I kept asking the Lord to give me the words to help ease their hurt and know you God can bring anyone home to You. I have been the prodigal, wayward child, too many times. The Lord has pursued me passionately and at times it has felt relentless. So, my prayer was to acknowledge being the prodigal child that you brought back again, and again, Thank you Lord!

A new journey with the Lord has started (again lol) (did it ever really end? I think not, not on God’s part, just mine) God never left me, not ever. I just got lost in my hurt, grief, and the darkness that consumed my little world. I am coming out of the darkness, in to a new light. I am seeing and feeling the Lord work in ways I never have before. I am more willing than ever to let Him use me. I don’t know what that looks like, I don’t know yet what His plan is. I do know- I am ready to start again.

To God be the Glory.

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