March 9, 2K

today was tough Hard so to speak. I feel like I’ve be threw a grinding machine. Depositions are the hardest thing. They are trying to screw me with my past. How can one incident, that you never tell anyone come back to haunt your life. Now that blank spot thats been erased for so many years, is playing over and over in my head. Everything’s going to be okay. Sorry years from now I probably won’t remember what this page is talking about! Good

Reading the other side of this page on Aug 29th
I know.
I will
always remember.
and the next time I go to Panama City Beach, I won’t get drunk and pass out. even if my friends are around. thank you (friend) and for saving me & (my friend).
It could have been worse.

When we are young we only see what is happening right then, in that moment. We do not realize the impact it can have on our lives. When I was still in high school, 17 years old if I remember correctly. I went to Panama City Beach with some friends. I had been smoking weed and drinking since I was 14 so it wasn’t a big deal. This was when people would ride the strip and the music could be as loud as we wanted it to be. My friends had a motel right on the strip. We met some older guys that invited us back to their room to smoke. It wasn’t new to us so of course- we went. Yes we had been drinking all day. I remember the door flying open the sun beaming in and my friend who had not went with us was screaming at us to wake up, get up, and get the hell out of there. I also remember telling the boys no and my friend telling the boys no but.. Thank God our angel showed up when she did..
During the sexual harassment lawsuit this incident came up. They argued I had a history of giving men the wrong impression and inviting them to make sexual advances towards me. That I had done it in Panama City and done it again to these 40+ year old men at work when I was 18. I asked for it. I wanted it. I wanted the attention. It was all a game to me according to their defense attorney. I don’t know who told their attorney, I never tried to find out. What would that accomplish? I did become very angry at how both these incidents where now, all my fault…